Why I deleted all my pictures
I am a spontaneous guy I do unconventional things because I believe they will help me grow as an individual and a man. The most recent thing I did was delete every single picture. 2,600 pictures, gone within 5 minutes. Granted some of them are still on this blog and some are still on my social media. But a majority are gone forever.
Why would I do that? Let me break down my relationship with my phone. Everyday is a battle against procrastination. Hence why I deleted my snapchat more than a year ago and I have not been on instagram in a week. But when I open up my phone I still used to do one thing that would affect my emotions and lead to procrastination. I would open up my camera roll and start scrolling through times when I was happier, skinnier, and less stressed. This would lead me to overanalyze my current life and feel bad about who I have become. I would look at pictures from over the summer when I was at my happiest and I would yearn for that even though it is so far away.
So part of my of my plan to learn to live in the present more was to stop reflecting on my past. Also, part of the reason why I did this was because I wanted to get a fresh start in life. Currently I am not very happy about how my life is going and I think that I could use a blank slate.
So how is my life going right now? Honestly pretty damn good. I went on a date a couple days ago in North Hampton with this really cute girl who is awesome and I felt good about it. I have been working a lot and learning new things about the culinary experience which is also great. And I have been doing a lot of Christmas shopping. I really have nothing to complain about. People have it much worse than I do. I am making mental memories that will last a long time because I am writing about them. Pictures say a thousand words is an accurate statement, sort of. I don't really believe that. When you write about your memories, you can explain how you felt and remember that feeling later on in life.
What goes on in my mind?
Wish I knew. Wish I knew why I am able to work on and finish a 50 page cocktail list with over 160 recipes in two days while everyone else is studying for finals. Wish I knew why I overanalyze everything and I never feel like what I am doing is right. Wish I knew why the only time I am comfortable during the day is when I am by myself watching my TV show. Wish I knew why there is always a weight on my shoulders that I can't shake off unless I do Herculean tasks.
50% of my thoughts during the day consist of how I can be doing better with my life. How I can be writing more, how I can be eating less, how I can be sleeping more, and how I could be a better friend to those who care for me. As much as I try to prevent myself from having intrusive thoughts, it happens. It's all about learning to control those thoughts.
My lesson of the day
Don't be afraid to try something that scares you. Go out there and be different, find your purpose and live your life with no regrets.