Intimacy, Being Rich in Spirit, and the Small Moments in Life

A whole bunch of random thoughts put together, hope y'all enjoy!

A quick read by: Brady Johnson
Published: October 26th, 2021

A wealthy state of mind

In the past few years all of my long term goals have revolved around one day having a spacious house in the cape, or a $60,000 SUV. But is that really what's important in our lives? Is that what is going to make me happy in the end? Chances are that it won't. The paradox that floods most of people's minds today is that all these expensive things in life will not make you happy in the end. What's more important is the intangible things that touch your heart the most.

Just recently this past weekend I visited my my 95 year old grandfather, my idol, and the person I strive to be one day. He has worked practically every day of his life with the exception of maybe a day here and there for holidays. He has owned the same convenience store in Worcester since he has been in his early 20s (over 70 years), and he has gone about life with nothing but an optimistic attitude. Ever since I was a kid he would give me life advice and most of it I still remember to this very day.

When I saw him this weekend he said something that resonated with me. He said, "you're a zillionaire". He then proceeded to say how I have two siblings that look up to me and a loving family that always has my back. He's right. What more could I ask for? I have people who depend on me and people who look to me when things aren't going great. Being rich in spirit is so much more important than being economically rich. I don't care who you ask.

Above all is family and I guarantee you that you will not be a happy person without family. They give you something to work for, they inspire you and they uplift you.

Intimacy

There are four types of intimacy that I learned about after reading an article on mbgrelationships. The first is emotional intimacy involves sharing your deepest and most emotional thoughts and feelings with someone you feel comfortable enough around. This doesn't necessarily have to be with a romantic partner, it can be anyone you feel close to. Iv'e had a handful of conversations like this with my close friends and family and I think it is important to do this as often as possible. Sharing what is bothering you is essential to growth as a human. Never bottle up your emotions.

The second type of intimacy is intellectual intimacy in which you feel comfortable with communicating viewpoints and beliefs even if they might be controversial and not worrying about potential conflicts. This means not feeling pressured to agree with opposing viewpoints and what you say is respected. One debate I have been getting into recently, more often than not is the importance of a college education. My point is that experiences and time spent in the workplace are much more important than a college education if you are trying to get a job. If I was a boss of a company and I had to choose between a 4.0 student who just went to college, and a person who had a 3.2 but also took a year abroad and had more work experience, I would not pick the 4.0 kid. My friends tend to disagree with this but I still try and hear them out and have a civil conversation because without civil debate I would not learn anything.

The third type of intimacy is experiential intimacy which means that two or more people can share experiences that lead to inside jokes and memories that lead to a stronger connection. So basically in simpler terms, the more times you spend with someone, the closer you feel to them, makes sense. I have a close knit group of friends and we have a ton of inside jokes that never cease to make us laugh. Whether it is through Sopranos quotes or wild remarks that our friends have said, it's something that will make only us laugh out loud.

The last type of intimacy is spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy can be practiced through prayer or religious practices but also things as simple as enjoying watching the sun rise with your partner or openly discussing their own spiritual beliefs. I believe that you can also practice spiritual intimacy with only yourself. The relationship you have with yourself is important and I do not believe such individual practices as prayer or meditation should be practiced between multiple people, it is very personal. While most of my friends are Christians and Catholics of varying faith, we still are able to talk about other faiths with a very objective viewpoint.

Ok wait just thought of one more. I call it cape village-intimacy, just made that up. So what in the hell is that? Let me paint you a picture. This past summer I lived in a 2 bed room, 1 bath, and 1 kitchen/living area cottage. This is not a spacious mansion in Nantucket but I love it more than I ever would some random house. This cottage is sometimes crowded with people but it creates a stronger connection between the people I love. Having 8 people around the fire when there is only room for 4 or having 20 people on the deck when there are only 6 seats at the table, I love it all. I cherish the moments where it is just my friends and I living in the moment and not worrying about money or location, just being grateful for where we are.

Living in Salt Air Village in Dennisport, every one of the hundred or so cottages are less than 50 feet apart and while not everyone gets along, everyone feels a connection to one another and we all share a common love for the community we have built.

Cape party on June 1st 2021

So why talk so much about intimacy and what is the relationship between small moments, rich in spirit, and intimacy. Intimacy is so much more than sexual connection like most people believe it to be, intimacy and intimate moments are at the center of our lives and they are what fuels our positive state of mind. If all four types of intimacy discussed above are practiced, you will be rich in spirit and live a fulfilling life. The small moments in life which will be discussed below are vital to who you will become later in life.

Remember the small moments

A key chain that my mother gave me for my 15th birthday if I remember correctly. I look at it every once an a while and it reminds me to never forgot those small moments. That walk home after my first long day at work, that joke that my friend once told, or that song that gave me chills, I want to remember all of this because life is too precious.

Small moments are worth more than material possessions. When you are sitting on your death bed, your fancy car or nice house is not what is going to bring you joy, instead the little moments are going to come back to you and bring you joy.

Having a camera that we can fit in our pockets and keep with us at all times is huge and I can not stress how important taking pictures is. Take pictures of the smaller moments in life, the seemingly mundane experiences like that walk through the park or the cigar you smoked on the beach that overcast day. Those are the moments that will bring you the most joy in the future.

It is not just about taking pictures of everything you see, it is about journaling as well. A picture can give you a visual about a certain memory but you most likely don't remember the backstory or how you were feeling when you took that picture. That is why it is important to keep a journal with you and try to write every once in a while. Document your day when it goes bad, but more importantly document your day when it goes well so you can remember and look back to what made you feel good.

Peace and love as always and feel free to reach out with thoughts about whatever might be on your mind.

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/types-of-intimacy-besides-sex

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/appreciating-small-moment_n_5774560