Hookup culture / Sexualized Media
Updated: Oct 16, 2021
Nowadays I feel as if there is a strong lack of compassion, much thanks to this new concept of "hookup culture". For those who don't know, hook-up culture is basically engaging in sexual activity with no intimacy or feelings for the other partner, one night stands. Being in college, like I am right now, trust me- I've heard of my peers engaging in such devious activities. But I always try to say something about it. Because what's the point? You are only damaging your emotional state by trying to have feelings for multiple people.
The most unfortunate part of this hook up culture that I have seen is the people who just do it when they are drunk. What is the point of that? You are most likely not going to remember what you are doing in the morning anyways, so why put yourself in harm? At the end of the day, I don't have much say in other people's lives but hopefully if they hear my opinion on this they can reevaluate how they approach relationships.
I have been in very few relationships in the past few years, I even tried for one this past summer and failed, so I am inexperienced, but I still am an emotional guy. Do I wish this last potential relationship worked? Yes of course, especially after all the coffee and notes I left this girl. But I can't dwell over it. I can tell you one thing, as much as I liked this girl, going out and trying to find a hookup for the night will not repair my emotional wellbeing. This is because I will be right back at square 1 in the morning, nothing will be fixed.
Hookup culture is always for emotionally shallow people to validate their self image and not face their true feelings. That was sort of mean, but true. You grow a lot more as a person from a relationship whether it works out or not. Go tell that girl/guy that you really like them and want to go out for coffee or lunch because you will feel a lot more happy about that choice, even if it is more uncomfortable at first. You should learn about a person before you engage in sexual activity, learn about who they truly are and what their interests are.
Fellas, and ladies, look out for your emotional state, that's what's most important.
Alright, now sexualized media, I felt that these two topics were rather similar so I wanted to put them in the same post. Now wtf is sexualized media? I interpret it this way, it is putting someone's personal / physical appearance, sex appeal, over all other characteristics. This is what social media has basically turned into. I try to stay off of social media as much as possible but I have seen this happen in the past.
I wouldn’t say that the weight of this problem is all on the back of the girls, I think the guys are to blame as well, I don’t want to be the victim blamer. Here’s what I am talking about… I am sure you have seen, especially if you go to Umass, a girl on instagram with half of her body exposed going to a party. In an ideal society, that should be accepted by all and a girl should be praised for choosing what she wants to wear and is comfortable with themselves. However that is not the case, especially in today’s day and age. When I see a girl with skimpy clothing on instagram, especially if it is someone I know, I get nervous. Why is that? There are a couple reasons. 1. In my opinion, skimpy clothing increases vulnerability, and at a party like a frat, that can be dangerous. I am sure you’ll have heard what has happened at Theta Chi last weekend, guys (especially frat guys) have two motives when they throw these gross parties, they want to get with a hot chick and they want to get fucked up. Unfortunately some are so desperate that they will go to such lengths as drugging girls in order to have sex with them, disgusting, diabolical, and a felony. Fuck em. 2. I cringe when I see such pictures because most people that they follow do not know them personally, people are quick to judge (like myself) and when there is a girl with limited clothing on insta I think we are all quick to make assumptions. Let me give you an example, say there is a girl who is nothing but a solid person, 4.0 student, track star, and whatnot, if she posts 1 picture wearing something scandalous- people will only remember her for that. You reach a larger audience than you might think when you post and it is just important to be careful because you never know what creep is eyeing you. Going off of that point, say you have a job interview for a big position and they want to know more about you so they go on your social media. If the first thing they see is you out partying they will make assumptions, whether it's correct or not.
Same goes with posting pictures of yourself drinking or smoking. Once it is out there, thousands of people see it and even if you delete it, chances are it’s still there. It is just not professional. Growing up involves being able to realize what is professional and what is just juvenile and posting pictures for others entertainment, is not mature, sorry not sorry.
I might sound like a fucking cranky asshole here but it is my honest truth and I think that some people need to hear this because it will hopefully provide them with an opposing opinion. At the end of the day, I have no authority, I can’t tell you what to do, I can just give you my two cents. Take it or leave it, just be careful to all out there who disagree with me.
"Your life will get better when you realize it's better to be alone than to chase people who don't really care about you."